Stinky blasphemer

Last night, while laying in bed. Me: Ugh, did you fart? That's wretched! Him: I don't know what you're talking about. Me: Yes you do, you bastard. Him: {Maniacal giggling.} Me: Jeez, someone needs to invent aromatherapy underwear or something. Lavender, maybe. You know, they now have boxer briefs with vitamins. Him: What? Me: Yeah, you absorb the vitamins through your underwear. Him: Hogwash. Me: No, really! They're from Japan or something. Or maybe Australia. Him: It's impossible. Me: Why? They have birth control pills you can absorb through your skin. Him: But that's a hormone. You can't absorb vitamins through your skin. You have to ingest them. Except for vitamin D. Me: How do you know, Mr. Smarty Pants. Him: *sigh* Because I'm God, ok? That's how I know. Don't question me. Me: You're ridiculous. You don't know. You're just making it up and trying to sound like you know, but you don't. Him: God! Me: What? Are you mad at me? Him: No. I'm talking to myself. Me: {Laughing myself silly. The kind of laughing where I sound like a car that won't start and where I almost make a pee spot. The kind where I end up in tears, hysterical. This is like the greatest thing in the world to him.}