13 Men I'd Like to Bang if Sir Lancelot* Were Not in the Picture
(but he is and I'd never, even if I could, which I can't because hi! they're probably not attracted to chubby unfamous people, nor will I ever meet them {and some of them are dead or fictional}, but we're pretending so it's all good)
1. Matthew McConaughey -- But of course. He's sex on toast and I just want, want, want him. The accent doesn't hurt, and he can play on my naked bongos any time he damn well pleases. I don't care if he's all kinds of crunchy and hasn't worn deodorant in 20 years, I'd still lick him up one side and down the other.
2. Clive Owen -- Oh, come to mommy. He's just too fine. Rugged and manly and just tough as nails. You know he is. He so should have been 007. And I'm such a sucker for a guy with cro-magnon brows.
3. Ewan McGregor -- *sigh* He's just dreamy. Smart and down-to-earth. (Have you seen Long Way Round? Simply charming.) And so talented. He'll always be Renton to me.
4. Josh Holloway -- Ay caramba. He's kinda scruffy and unkempt looking, which I kinda love. And the smile. Oh, the smile. Gets me every time.
5. Hal Sparks -- Lest you all think I only go for big strapping sex bombs, I like 'em funny, too, and Hal Sparks cracks me up. He's also adorable. And the smile? Too charming.
6. Hugh Laurie -- But mostly just as Dr. House. I think he's fandamntastic in everything, but he's superlatively sexy in House. All that bitterness and sarcasm and dry wit and misanthropic behavior -- it just gets me. Plus, the eyes. Holy hell, the eyes.
7. Denis Leary -- First, he cracks me up. Second, he's just so sexy and raw. And I love his character on Rescue Me. I know Tommy Gavin is a shit, but I'm kinda drawn to shits.
8. Sean Connery -- Ok, I can't believe I put him at no. 8. This list is not in order of do-ability. Say what you will about the misogynism. I can't help it. He's Bond, and that's all that matters to me. I'll have to get into my James Bond fanaticism another time. Big fan. Huge!
9. Rhett Butler -- He could have seen me without my shimmy any day.
Scarlett: Cathleen, Who's that?
Cathleen Calvert: Who?
Scarlett: That man looking at us and smiling? The nasty dark one?
Cathleen Calvert: My dear don't you know? Thats Rhett Butler! He's from Charleston, he has the most terrible reputation!
Scarlett: He looks as if he knows what I look like without my shimmy.
10. James Marsters -- Give me a minute... Just typing his name has me all a riled up. ... Ok, I'm better now. Yes, I'm one of those insane Spike fans. Those cheekbones should be illegal. And yeah, tortured bad boys do it for me, too.
11. Vince Vaugh -- What a long, tall drink of water he is. And funny as all hell, too. He is completely and totally irresistable. And likely bat shit crazy and completely brilliant, which I definitely dig.
12. Owen Wilson -- Quirky, sexy, weird, and I think just completely comfortable with himself. He makes me laugh and he makes me hot.
13. Wolverine -- Ok, mostly Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. But still. Just Wolverine? Hot. Damn hot. Just all anti-hero (my favorite kind) and rough and tumble and raaaaaawwwwrrr.
14. BONUS! Clint Eastwood -- Swoon. God, I love a cowboy. Especially a smart cowboy.
Ok, that's it. I can't take any more. I need some alone time now as it is.
*This is what I'm calling him now because L seemed so impersonal.
|
2. Clive Owen -- Oh, come to mommy. He's just too fine. Rugged and manly and just tough as nails. You know he is. He so should have been 007. And I'm such a sucker for a guy with cro-magnon brows.
3. Ewan McGregor -- *sigh* He's just dreamy. Smart and down-to-earth. (Have you seen Long Way Round? Simply charming.) And so talented. He'll always be Renton to me.
4. Josh Holloway -- Ay caramba. He's kinda scruffy and unkempt looking, which I kinda love. And the smile. Oh, the smile. Gets me every time.
5. Hal Sparks -- Lest you all think I only go for big strapping sex bombs, I like 'em funny, too, and Hal Sparks cracks me up. He's also adorable. And the smile? Too charming.
6. Hugh Laurie -- But mostly just as Dr. House. I think he's fandamntastic in everything, but he's superlatively sexy in House. All that bitterness and sarcasm and dry wit and misanthropic behavior -- it just gets me. Plus, the eyes. Holy hell, the eyes.
7. Denis Leary -- First, he cracks me up. Second, he's just so sexy and raw. And I love his character on Rescue Me. I know Tommy Gavin is a shit, but I'm kinda drawn to shits.
8. Sean Connery -- Ok, I can't believe I put him at no. 8. This list is not in order of do-ability. Say what you will about the misogynism. I can't help it. He's Bond, and that's all that matters to me. I'll have to get into my James Bond fanaticism another time. Big fan. Huge!
9. Rhett Butler -- He could have seen me without my shimmy any day.
Scarlett: Cathleen, Who's that?
Cathleen Calvert: Who?
Scarlett: That man looking at us and smiling? The nasty dark one?
Cathleen Calvert: My dear don't you know? Thats Rhett Butler! He's from Charleston, he has the most terrible reputation!
Scarlett: He looks as if he knows what I look like without my shimmy.
10. James Marsters -- Give me a minute... Just typing his name has me all a riled up. ... Ok, I'm better now. Yes, I'm one of those insane Spike fans. Those cheekbones should be illegal. And yeah, tortured bad boys do it for me, too.
11. Vince Vaugh -- What a long, tall drink of water he is. And funny as all hell, too. He is completely and totally irresistable. And likely bat shit crazy and completely brilliant, which I definitely dig.
12. Owen Wilson -- Quirky, sexy, weird, and I think just completely comfortable with himself. He makes me laugh and he makes me hot.
13. Wolverine -- Ok, mostly Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. But still. Just Wolverine? Hot. Damn hot. Just all anti-hero (my favorite kind) and rough and tumble and raaaaaawwwwrrr.
14. BONUS! Clint Eastwood -- Swoon. God, I love a cowboy. Especially a smart cowboy.
Ok, that's it. I can't take any more. I need some alone time now as it is.
*This is what I'm calling him now because L seemed so impersonal.
14 Comments:
I love the diversity in this list! I think Denis Leary is hot, too!
Oh, and Vince, too!
I agree, good diversity. Variety being the spice of life and all that. ;)
You know what's interesting about Sean Connery? Generations of women find him to be sexy. My mom STILL has a crush on him, and I have to admit there's something about the guy. A magnetism.
The trouble I have with making a list like this for myself is that it's not so much the actors for me as the characters they play...often I'd rather BE the character than DO him. (Case in point: Indiana Jones. Not particularly interested in having sex with him, cute as he is in that scruffy - adventurer way, but I'd love to be the one who gets to explore all the lost cities and such and Look Good Doing It.)
(Also: I haven't really seen enough of latter-day Buffy to fully get what the Spike fans are on about - only seen him as a villain - but I agree, those cheekbones SHOULD be illegal.)
Oh dear, you just reminded me I missed my humpday hunk post yesterday. I'll have to send those who come just for that over here.
I'll take on a few of your choices - Matthew McConaughey; Its the whole Irish crunchy thing. Reminds me of self except I do wear deoderant. That whole women don't sweat thing is BS.
Josh Holloway; He's one of the few blondes on my list and for all the reasons you mention. I like them scruffy and those eyes with that smile make him look dangerous. I like dangerous ;o).
So funny! I had Ewan McGregor on my list too, but replaced him (and Colin Farrell) with others. I LOVED him as Renton, brilliant effing movie!
Great minds!
Denis, Sean, James, Vince, Owen, Wolverine: Yeah baby!
WOW now that's a group of hotties.
I'm with you on 1,4,7,10 and 13...but for GODS SaKE Owen Wilson?? argh...ughh...eeek...
lol
crap! i can't believe you thought of this before me! and the whole time i was reading, i was thinking, "ok, he's hot, but that guy wouldn't be on my list. i bet she doesn't even have sean connery....DAMN!"
so now, even if i copy your idea, sean (and probably clint and vince) will also be on my list.
i guess i have to be original. dang. back to the drawing board...
way to make me horny, gypsy. :)
And now for a totally unrelated comment moment - but since I don't know how else I'd reach you: that Pan's Labyrinth movie? MW found more about it, if you want to go see. I want to go!
OH, totally kickass list. Woo, is it hot in here? Hey, what about Depp?
Megan: I'm all about diversity.
Sue: The no deodorant thing doesn't bother me at all. Apparently he doesn't stink. He's magically gorgeous in every way.
RB: Sean is just universally hot. And I know what you mean about wanting to be Indiana Jones. I just want to be him and do him. Hmm... what does that say about me?
Jade: I like dangerous, too. Dangerous and flawed.
Janet: Oh, you just don't know how much I debated on Colin Firth. He's wonderful. But he didn't make the cut.
Interstellar: I like Luke, too, but I had to pick Owen. I like the quirky.
KaraMia: I can't help it! I know he's a weird one. I like Kid Rock, too. Shun me!
VB: Feel free to steal. I steal from you all the time. And I'd be interested to see your list.
Katherine: Depp was a consideration, too, but he didn't make the cut. I haven't seen Dead Man's Chest yet, though. I might have to have an addendum if he blows me away.
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only woman who would bang hugh jackman, matthew Mcconnaughey, and owen wilson. There is just something about owen wilson's crooked nose and smile that I find so endearing.
I am not attracted to men who look too perfect. But matthew...Matthew, I'd eat, on toast. He is so incredibly scrumpdiddlyicious.
ANother great list! My faves are Matthew, Clive and Rhett!
I want to eat the first 4 men in a bread roll with a little salad on the side. Oh and a coke.
Okay, that's lunch sorted. What's for dinner?
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