Fine by me, but you're living in denial and suppressing rage, motherf#ck3r!

I recently discovered that they're making a sequel to Clerks. Clerks came out when I was a freshman in college, and I was working, coincidentally, at the best little video store in the panhandle. Or at least I thought it was. Because, seriously? This was the best job I've ever had. Yeah, the pay was shit. And yeah, my boss was a perverted old man. But so what!? I got to sit around watching videos, bullshitting with customers all day, and partying all night. My boss had deals with all the retailers in the area so we got free liquor, pastries, shoes, lord knows what all, in exchange for video rentals. The porn didn't hurt either. Our store was one of two in town that rented porn. We had this sleazy little room in back where the pervs (and soccer moms) would go to get their skeezy vids. It was the best entertainment ever, watching these people try to be all furtive about it. They of course didn't realize that after hours we were all plugging in the porn while we closed up shop and drank beer and snuck out back to take a few tokes. And the boss really did order the nastiest of porn movies. Now, I like porn. Always have. But some of it's just plain awful butt blasting and lactating, and this is the kind of stuff he'd order. I'd have to go in and pick out the better, higher quality vids. So, when Clerks came out, I was living that life. I could relate to Randal and those guys so much. People actually did come in and stand in front of the new releases sign and ask where the new releases were. And the scene where Randal orders all the porn with the mom and little girl standing right there wanting Happy Scrappy Hero Pup? So could have happened at our store. I had no more responsibilities at this time in my life than making decent enough grades in college to not piss my parents off, working the easiest and most enjoyable job on the planet, and imbibing all sorts of intoxicants and looking for cute boys to hook up with. That is what Clerks was to me, in 1994. Now? It's just a fond memory. To see that they're making a sequel is so... weird. Dante and Randal 10 years later. Still working at the convenience and video stores. Jay and Silent Bob standing around outside looking for chicks and selling weed (although I hear Jay doesn't say "Snootchie Bootchies" at all in the entire film). As much as I loved my life then, thank god I'm not doing it now. I can't wait to see how their lives resolve at 30. Hell, I'm pretty interested to see how my own life will resolve at 31.

Dante: I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages. Working on my day off, the goddamn steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward ass fuck on the planet. I smell like shoe polish. My ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy. And my present girlfriend has sucked 36 dicks. Randal: 37