100 Things About Me

I have a serious chocolate addiction. I have three doggies, all ankle-biters. I love all things fantasy, even unicorns. Yes, unicorns. And fairies. You can scorn me now. I sometimes read trashy romance novels; the historic kind, not contemporary. I'm quite pervy. I was raised to be a southern belle, but it didn't take. I love the beach. I have studied abroad. Deviance fascinates me. My favorite color is purple. I have a problem with envy. Matthew MacConaughey is my secret boyfriend. It's ok. L knows. I'm a bit of a pagan. I have gotten anti-social in my old age. I'm a slob, but getting better. Numbers escape me. I think they're from the devil. I can't drive a stick. I used to speak Italian fairly fluently. I can understand and speak some French and Spanish. I love pizza. Mmm… Pizza. I take my shoes off the second I get home. One of my pet peeves is people leaving cabinets open. I can't go to sleep until the covers are straight. I like to sleep with a noisemaker playing. I wanted to be a big city girl but failed miserably. I love James Bond. Buffy is my hero. I can waterski. Or at least I used to be able to. I can't snowboard. I picture myself falling down stairs whenever I walk down stairs. I’ve been caught doing the deed in a public park. I might have a record. When I have the hiccups, I drink from a glass backwards and it seems to help. I have a low threshold for pain. I like karaoke. When I was little, I used to have this thing where I had to count the number of syllables of words as I was speaking. OCD much? I'm terrible with returning things. I always forget. But I'm almost always on time (or early) to meet people. I'm bad with money. I've been terribly spoiled, but I'm not rotten. I'm an Anglophile. I'm self-involved. I think I have too much arm hair. I don't do my nails. I'm frequently surprised that I'm not famous. For something. What? I have no idea. But like most adolescents, I was sure I'd be famous when I grew up. And that hasn't quite worn off yet. I'm pretty terrified of adulthood. I frequently take charge in a group. I tend to cut people off. I suck. I am forgiving and tolerant. I'm a raging liberal feminist, and yet I like it when L opens doors for me and treats me like I'm fragile. I read Bust, Bitch, Tango, and bridal magazines. I never wanted to get married, and then I turned 26 and something really weird happened: I became a bit wedding-obsessed. Stupid age. I'm still undecided about kids. I love to go out to dinner. I hate clubs. I like dive bars. I'm competitive but lazy. I hate cherries. Broccoli makes me want to barf. I've always wanted to be a romance novelist, but I don't write all that often. I used to play volleyball. I am learning to cook. I am not at all crafty, but I admire those who are. I like strong, manly men. I don't like pretty boys. I really didn't like living in Arizona, but they have beautiful sunsets. I once stole a plastic ET toy from the grocery store. I've stolen cigarettes, too. I don't smoke anymore. Unless it's 4:20. I tried out for both cheerleading and dance team and made neither. I like Yeungling beer. I'm against the death penalty. I like true crime stories. I'm drawn to macabre things, though most people probably wouldn't guess that about me. Creepy is good. I get riled up about FSU football. I like to play devil's advocate. I don't like most reality TV. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't drink coffee. I got my first pedicure last year. I once had a sex dream about the chaplain from MASH. I love Jeopardy. Spiders scare the shit out of me. My parents were once capsized. I have a collection of Crying Freeman comic books. I hate gauchos. I collect erotica. I find Kid Rock sexy. I hate myself for it. I want to move abroad someday. I spend far too much time online. The Shining scares me to death. In the whole Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie cat fight, I'd probably pick Angelina. I never had a Cabbage Patch doll, and I think I'm better for it. I can’t believe how hard it is to come up with 100 things. The older I get, the more I like country music. Shun me. I believe that sometimes you just gotta keep livin': L-I-V-I-N. I love Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton. I have built a latrine. Once I came in second in a talent contest. I played Juanita in a school production of Luanne. Bad girls are hot. 100. I know, first hand, that shooting Spaghettios out your nose hurts real bad.