It's time to clean up my act

I have been at my absolute worst the past few days. It started when I fell out of my chair during a meeting here at work on Friday. Yes. Fell. Out. Of. My. CHAIR! Out. Like, onto the floor. I wasn't even doing some complicated maneuver or anything. I was just leaning forward, trying to be all intent, when SLAM! On my ass. So, yeah. That was graceful. This morning I sat down at my desk, and while I didn't fall out of my chair, I almost did when I saw what was on my keyboard. A tampon. Wrapped, thank goodness. I suspect it fell out of my purse on my way out of the office on Friday and our kindly cleaning lady picked it up and put it on my keyboard. Nice. Delicate of me, eh? And today I am a complete mess. I think I got dressed in the dark or something. My hair is terrible and I am totally not accessorized. And I have been neglecting my eyebrows. I'm like a cross between a wildabeast and a yeti. Puuuurty.